“I believe, with great regret, that humans evolve at a faster rate than anything else in Creation. Every day they change, alter and adapt themselves--not to the world, but to their needs, in a spiraling, dizzying charge towards their own perdition.”
Oblivion never seemed more beautiful.
Peace never seemed so terrifying.
Never have my problems seemed so negligible and my life so worth preserving.
I confess this at the expense of you believing me, or taking me for a fool or a cynic.
“Each day you reach with more urgency and greed for more, and when you have it, still you crave and envy that which your brother has, and plot in your vilest mind to rise to the occasion and kill, with no hesitation at staining your hands in his warm blood.”
I crave his woman.
I crave his sword.
I crave his land. I crave his home.
I crave his blood. His warm, beautiful, kind, scarlet blood. Because in my veins I lack this lot.
“Your days are counted. Your future has already rotted and your past now begins to bloom. Redeem yourself in sacrifice, or condemn yourself in avarice. Choose.”
To thine own self be true. And so it must follow, as the night the day, thou- -
canst not then be false to any man.
- Hamlet
Four out of five demons say that I am hazardous to your health.
Eight out of ten angels recommend avoiding me altogether.
With those figures, you think I’d be discouraged. But..I’m timeless, like a broken watch.
...Truth is, I’m like a bad habit, or a sliiightly illegal substance that you have come to believe and accept that it does heal you.
And you looove me.
I’m killing you, one way or another.
You can’t—won’t—drop me. But, as seen on TV and real life, as soon as someone legalizes me, that’ll be the end of the line, time to pick up and leave, go our separate ways, leave the money on the stand, and I’ll be all alone.
...Guess I better enjoy the bad press while it lasts.
Point in fact, I rather think I do have curative powers. What else would you call it, what happens every time I sit down and listen, limiting myself to breathing and nodding every so often I deem it necessary, and allow for you to take out all this foul world on me? I take away all that pain. I do it a little piece at a time, a memory and heartbreak at a time, so I don’t accidentally pull on your heart a little too hard, a little too fast, a little too eagerly
--which I am so tempted to do at times--
(the pretence is not what restricts me, it’s the circles inside—
the anatomy of kisses and a teacher who tries,
who knows how we’ll disappear.)
and end up with only your achingly beautiful soul spilt all over my hands.
Incredibly...I refrain.
- -
Do I enjoy watching you squirm? Am I a sadist, when your pain is all self-inflicted? Or am I really, in the end, so completely useless and unable to save you from your hopeless fascination with this hell? Am I really only a spectator? Have I forfeited the keys to your paradise? Did I lose so much without knowing what was happening?
All I ever wanted,
all I ever needed
was here, in my arms.
...Did I lose? ...How much did I lose? Only now do the true proportions of this cataclysm become clear to me.
White Goddess, Red Goddess,
Black temptress of the sea, you treat me right.
Black Goddess, Red Goddess,
White temptress of the sea, you treat me right.
- -
Few truly are those who speak volumes without uttering one word.
Lo, there do I see my father.
Lo, there do I see my mother, my sisters and my brothers.
Lo, there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning.
Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me to take my place among them,
In the halls of Valhalla--
Where the brave can live forever.
Enjoy the silence.
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