Saturday, November 26, 2005

Veni, Vidi...Vici.

Contradictions suck.
And so does fiber.

Les llego con la buena nueva. O la mala vieja.


Estoy viva.




Decidan si es bueno o malo.

"Mis intestinos me limitan."

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Smite You, Mighty Smiter

Why has nobody made mouse-flavored cat food yet?

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Hell is in the mind of the beholder, doncha know.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Chapter X

["All endings are also beginnings.]

Hay canciones (pocas, pero las hay, lo admito) que te hacen recordar..te ahogan en mares de posibilidades, "hubieras", y melancolía...


Hay otras, más escasas, que van más allá. Mucho más allá.


Te hacen caer de rodillas.


Precious and fragile things
need special handling.
My God, what have we done to you?
We always tried to share
the tenderest of care.
Now look what we have put you through.

Things get damaged,
things get broken.
I thought we'd manage,
but words left unspoken,
left us so brittle..
there was so little left to give.

Angels with silver wings
shouldn't know suffering.
I wish I could take the pain for you.
If God has a masterplan
that only He understands,
I hope it's your eyes He's seeing through.

Things get damaged,
things get broken.
I thought we'd manage,
but words left unspoken,
left us so brittle
...there was so little left to give.


I pray you learn to trust,
have faith in both of us.
And keep room in your hearts for two.

[...We just don't know it at the time."]

Things get damaged,
things get broken.
I thought we'd manage,
but words left unspoken,
left us so brittle..
there was too little left to give.

"El día que temes ha de llegar, y pasar. Vivías antes de su llegada; vivirás después de su partida."


Feliz cumpleaños.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Enjoy the Silence.

Vows are spoken to be broken.

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“I believe, with great regret, that humans evolve at a faster rate than anything else in Creation. Every day they change, alter and adapt themselves--not to the world, but to their needs, in a spiraling, dizzying charge towards their own perdition.”


Oblivion never seemed more beautiful.

Peace never seemed so terrifying.

Never have my problems seemed so negligible and my life so worth preserving.

I confess this at the expense of you believing me, or taking me for a fool or a cynic.



“Each day you reach with more urgency and greed for more, and when you have it, still you crave and envy that which your brother has, and plot in your vilest mind to rise to the occasion and kill, with no hesitation at staining your hands in his warm blood.”


I crave his woman.

I crave his sword.

I crave his land. I crave his home.

I crave his blood. His warm, beautiful, kind, scarlet blood. Because in my veins I lack this lot.



“Your days are counted. Your future has already rotted and your past now begins to bloom. Redeem yourself in sacrifice, or condemn yourself in avarice. Choose.”



To thine own self be true. And so it must follow, as the night the day, thou
canst not then be false to any man.

- Hamlet
- -

Four out of five demons say that I am hazardous to your health.

Eight out of ten angels recommend avoiding me altogether.

With those figures, you think I’d be discouraged. But..I’m timeless, like a broken watch.

...Truth is, I’m like a bad habit, or a sliiightly illegal substance that you have come to believe and accept that it does heal you.


And you looove me.

I’m killing you, one way or another.

You can’t—won’t—drop me. But, as seen on TV and real life, as soon as someone legalizes me, that’ll be the end of the line, time to pick up and leave, go our separate ways, leave the money on the stand, and I’ll be all alone.


...Guess I better enjoy the bad press while it lasts.

Point in fact, I rather think I do have curative powers. What else would you call it, what happens every time I sit down and listen, limiting myself to breathing and nodding every so often I deem it necessary, and allow for you to take out all this foul world on me? I take away all that pain. I do it a little piece at a time, a memory and heartbreak at a time, so I don’t accidentally pull on your heart a little too hard, a little too fast, a little too eagerly

--which I am so tempted to do at times--

(the pretence is not what restricts me, it’s the circles inside—
the anatomy of kisses and a teacher who tries,
who knows how we’ll disappear.)

and end up with only your achingly beautiful soul spilt all over my hands.


Incredibly...I refrain.

- -

Do I enjoy watching you squirm? Am I a sadist, when your pain is all self-inflicted? Or am I really, in the end, so completely useless and unable to save you from your hopeless fascination with this hell? Am I really only a spectator? Have I forfeited the keys to your paradise? Did I lose so much without knowing what was happening?

All I ever wanted,
all I ever needed
was here, in my arms.

...Did I lose? ...How much did I lose? Only now do the true proportions of this cataclysm become clear to me.

White Goddess, Red Goddess,
Black temptress of the sea, you treat me right.
Black Goddess, Red Goddess,
White temptress of the sea, you treat me right.

- -

Few truly are those who speak volumes without uttering one word.

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Lo, there do I see my father.
Lo, there do I see my mother, my sisters and my brothers.
Lo, there do I see the line of my people back to the beginning.
Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me to take my place among them,
In the halls of Valhalla--

Where the brave can live forever.

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Enjoy the silence.

Monday, September 05, 2005

My Favorite Hell.

Llámesele infructuoso. Patético. O hasta masoquista, si lo desea.

Pero, por un momento de estos, mierda, cambio el aire hasta que respiro.

Ha llegado una extraña temporada, época, a mi vida. Lo percibo como un hormigueo persistente e implacable en los huesos; como una descarga eléctrica en el aire despiadado, deliciosamente frío del invierno. Pero es inconfundible. Una señal. Time to change gears, dice.

Y un desfile de imágenes y episodios recientes vienen a la mente, como para confirmar algo que, de hecho, gran parte de mí ya había ratificado.

Mi carrera. Con una certeza imponente, como un camino que de penumbras surge para revelarse al que anda. No más desconfianza, titubeos ni lugar para duda. Check.

El trabajo; mi original propósito de trabajar desde un principio; presupuestos, gastos cubiertos y necesidades futuras no consideradas por las que hay que velar. Check.

Quehaceres. Mi salud; de verdad la negligencia no me sienta bien en la perspectiva, la agenda que tengo en delante; voy contra el tiempo, contra mí misma —y, futa, como me gustan los retos. Mis obligaciones a padres y hermano cubiertas, sin descuidar. Re-familiarización con los lazos, amistades que se han distanciado, asegurar de que sus vidas se mueven en el sentido correcto, y asegurarme que de verdad no hay nada más que pueda hacer para mejorar la experiencia. Un último chequeo a mi cartera de discos, surtida, variada, cargada, y creo que es lo último en mi lista de tareas. Check.


Pero, ah, maldito...¿qué hacer contigo?

Me detengo un largo momento —quizá de incertidumbre, quizá de contemplación— para permitirme revivir una última vez esos dulces recuerdos— reales, ficticios, ya ni yo lo sé— que me hacen creer que existimos en un ayer completamente alterno.

• Ω •

Horas sentados en el mismo lugar, espalda maldiciéndonos, el trasero no más engañado con alternar rutinaria y estratégicamente el peso del cuerpo sobre un glúteo, luego el otro. Hombro con hombro, brazo con brazo, cadera con cadera, rodilla con rodilla. Ni siquiera había algo interesante que ver. 31 de diciembre, mi estimado; fin de año, tan cerca del comienzo de uno nuevo, y aquí estamos los dos, el par de idiotas, desperdiciando valiosas horas de nuestro tiempo sentados en la calle, recargados contra las rejas, adoloridos, entumecidos, congelados....todavía.

Y, más que por mí, lo digo por ti. Pasaron tantas veces —familiares que no has visto en años, grandes amistades que no frecuentabas en bastante tiempo, fiestas, escapadas, pisteadas— muchas ofertas, tantas ofertas, mejores ofertas, tentadoras ofertas...y decidiste, por razones totalmente ajenas a mí, declinar cada una de ellas y permanecer a mi lado el resto de la noche.

(...Pendeja yo sí preguntaba por qué la elección.)

‘No merezco mi suerte,’ pensé, mirando hacia arriba. Suspiré, a pesar de mí. Me maldije, pero había sido el pretexto necesario para que buscaras voltear a ver en mi dirección y decir algo.

Cada vez que te respondía trataba de obligar a mis dientes que dejaran de temblar (porque adoro el frío, pero..ah-que-piiinche frío..), y me aseguraba que mis ojos vieran absolutamente hacia delante, con una absurda y rígida atención...a nada que me pudiera servir de pretexto. Y me lo hiciste saber, eventualmente.

Había, recuerdo, cuando menos dos motivos por los que no pod— ejem, quería verte a los ojos al hablarte. Uno, todo sentido de mi escasa coherencia desvanecía por completo; y dos..

...El desmesurado terror a que pudieras ver tanto más allá de lo que me permitiría dejarte saber.
Todo...El universo entero pareció conspirar, estar en unánime acuerdo de darnos la privacidad de un día, una noche, unas horas, para intuir lo que aún había por tocar dentro de nosotros. Responsabilidades, compromisos y familia nos dieron una, esa noche, toda para nosotros.

Esperaba, paranoica, la emboscada. Un buen pretexto para dejarte ir sin que parecieras desesperado por aceptar, o muy conmovido por lástima para negar. Se acercaron varias veces a hablarnos por separado, pero..algo vieron, que se alejaron casi inmediatamente. Agradecí mi fortuna cada una de esas veces. Surgieron miles de oportunidades para que escaparas..y no tomaste ninguna salida. Maldije severamente en mi interior. Pero agradecí mi fortuna infinitamente, de verdad le agradecí.

Y me hiciste hablar. Y hablar. Y hablar. De todo. De tooodo. No querías que un solo detalle mío se escapara de tu saber. Y me asombra lo tanto que pude comunicarte, todo lo que tenía en verdad que decir, de lo que ni yo estaba enterada me faltara hacer.

Cerca de media noche, cansada, comencé a sentir los párpados pesados. Y peleaba con toda mi voluntad de que no fuera, por miedo a que todo desapareciera al abrir los ojos otra vez. Conseguiste verme hacer el pésimo esfuerzo, pero no diste por terminada la noche ahí.

..Hm.

Sonreíste, y recuerdo sentir como una mano me guió hasta que descansé (...poquititititititititito) mi cabeza contra un hombro. Y— culpando a la fatiga de la caída de mis inhibiciones y límites auto-impuestos— busqué..no, acepté refugiarme, esconderme, permanecer..indefinidamente en ese hermoso pedazo de Edén, con la cara oculta en un brazo confortable, una cálida fragancia, y el sutil apoyo de una barbilla sobre mi cabeza. Quería morir ahí. Descansando. Soñando. Protegida. En paz.

‘...Definitivamente, no merezco mi suerte.’

• Ω •

Te amo. No más de lo que quisiera. Pero de lo que debiera. Y no sé si es malo, o bueno. Y la incertidumbre me lleva a pensar en esto, a razonarlo, a estudiar fría y analíticamente lo que soy, lo que eres, lo que tenemos.

Mi línea de razón se ve interrumpida, y mientras mi consciente retorna a sí, siento una agradable sensación en mi mano derecha. Calor, para empezar, y una presión que circunda uniforme y fascinante, arrulladora, mi pulgar. Se desvanece con dificultad el estupor, y mi cerebro aturdido alcanza a registrar que son tus manos regalando, retornando, sensación a las mías. A mí.

Volteo hacia arriba. Me sonríes. Y, lo primero, y único que preguntas, no es ‘qué piensas’...

“¿Qué sientes?”

Maldito. Mi dulce, valiente, tierno, bello, elocuente y hermoso delirio. Es injusto lo que me haces. No manipulas nada en mí, sólo lo conduces. No creas, en sí: sólo das el primer aliento de vida a algo que ha corrido con tanta suerte hasta hoy como para permanecer adormecido por tanto tiempo, ignorante de sí. Y no hay queja, ni inconformidad alguna de mi parte, y me he reconciliado con este naciente y portentoso dato rápidamente.

“Mm...Nada. Estoy pensando.” Miento, y ambos lo sabemos. Ninguno de los dos intenta, ni necesita argumentar más en su favor.

No me gusta encontrarme con que soy vulnerable. Y menos con un testigo. Así que tapo mi boca con un puño, fingiendo dificultad con mi garganta. Y te pido, sin palabras, que quede entre ambos que lograste, efectivamente, hacerme sonreír. Y, satisfecho, concedes.

• Ω •

Inexplicablemente, humedecidos mis dedos al pasarlos tentativamente sobre una mejilla. Dispenso rápidamente de la incomprensible evidencia. Esto no provino de mí; basta. Una imprevista reacción.

Acerco, con cierto refreno, las yemas de los dedos a la superficie del espejo, y trato de no retirar la mano...ni pensar, ni discernir, si es el vidrio...o mis yemas las que están frías.

Toco esa cara, la que me observa, como si fuese una extraña. Me sorprende, me intriga, me hace sucumbir a dudas triviales de mi persona. Dudo que guarde mucho de lo que recuerdo de fotografías. No creo que esos ojos alguna vez hayan sido los míos; y si lo son, que siempre hayan sido los mismos.

...‘Have I changed?’ I wonder.

‘Have I changed enough, or that much, so that the people in whose midst I’ve grown aren’t able to recognize in me that which they knew?’

...me pregunto.

Y me vuelvo, gradualmente, más consciente de algo. Siento calor en la espalda, como manto, como roza las clavículas, cae por detrás de mis hombros, y cubre toda mi frágil y sensible columna, para terminar por hacerme cálidas cosquillas en gran parte de la cintura.

(Cuando todo falla...)

Y dejo caer la mano, y un poco más apresurada la mirada, tratando de no ver más que de reojo la amarga sonrisa que enseguida esconden algunos considerados cabellos, a menos de que la risa de verdad sea una tal que me invada toda y me vuelva total, irremediablemente cínica.

-

Me retiro de una batalla más librada. Una...victoria agridulce. No creo en las estupideces que un lado más inseguro de mí esboza, y de eso me enorgullezco. Pero hay una prueba, grosera en su descaro, de que hasta mi inquebrantable seguridad es hasta cierto grado inagotable.

Mi cabello sigue igual de largo.

Y no puedo mover un dedo para cambiarlo.

Y esa es mi aplastante realidad, comprendo.

Si en tantos años más que pasen —que invariablemente han de pasar, me he reconciliado a esa verdad— y, finalmente, llegue el momento en que regrese a ti, a tu lado, si en realidad los años me han vuelto una bestia temperamental, cínica, impulsiva, impaciente y agresiva, y me encuentras que he cambiado tanto a tus ojos...

(Cuando todo falla, recurre a tus más confiados trucos.)

...espero que mi cabello sea la señal de que debajo de toda esa aspereza sigo siendo —aunque sea solo ‘potencialmente’ de momento— la misma criatura desapegada, racional, tímida, reservada, tranquila...que recuerdas.



. . . . .

He optado por no repetir —en voz alta— demasiado tus palabras de ninguno de nuestros intercambios. Siento que fácilmente las podría volver en contra tuya. En un reproche. O en un insulto. Y me odiaría si tan horriblemente pudiera llegar a deformar con mi melancolía a la esencia de tu voz, tus secretos, tus consejos, tus murmullos, tus regaños. Y no sería justo a lo que en ese preciso momento tomó lugar, a lo que fue un acuerdo mutuo, etéreo, trascendente, inquebrantable. Y lastimaría cada una de tus memorias que, por el resto de mis vidas, llevaré grabadas en...partes más privadas, honorables, preciadas, de mi.


...Me dueles. Me dueles, corazón.


Alone, as I sit and watch the trees..
won't you tell me, if I scream, will they bend down and listen to me?
And it makes me wonder: if I know the words will you come,
or will you laugh at me,
or will I run?


Little boy says to me,
“Where you goin’ now, son?”
I said, “I don’t know where I’m goin’, boy;
I only know where I’m from.”

And it makes me wonder,
if the stars shine when my eyes close,

or does my brother’s heart cry?
I don’t know.

You see, I’m tired of feeling this pain,
I’m tired of living my own little lie
and, it makes me wonder:
when I see you in my dreams
...does it mean anything?
Are you trying to talk to me?

And now my days are short an my nights are long
I lay down with memories of you keep that keep me going on, going on
And it makes me wonder as I sit and stare,
Will I see your face again?
Tell me, do you care?

Right now I just can’t see ’cause I’m feeling weak
and my soul begins to bleed,
and no one is listening to me,
not even the trees.



Me dueles como si fueras...como si alguna vez hubieras sido mío.

..Tell me, are you feeling alone?

Pero, lo veo. Lo puedo entender. Lo puedo sentir...

..Does my brother’s heart cry?

...Lo fuerte que me has hecho.

...And I wonder..how you feel.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Buagh.

...Luego se preguntan por qué amanecen
flotando boca abajo en el canal. Bomba.


"You look like an 'Ofelia'."








. . .

















' OFELIA ' TU MADRE! :x

Feliz cumpleaños, Jefecito. F-f-f-ff-fff.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Tarugadas de Medias Noches.

Dilo rápido cinco veces seguidas.

A: “I enjoy this change in scenery.”

E: “You enjoy the peace?”

A: “The quiet. Nightmares aren’t much dissuaded by altitude.”

E: “Such a beautiful lady has no business becoming a hermit.”

S: “(...She certainly has the horrible disposition beffiting of the post.)”

A: “I’m standing right next to you, asshole.”


Duda: ¿Se escribe "guayabas" o "guallabas"..?

..Déjenme dormiiiiiiiiirrrr!

Sunday, August 28, 2005

It's Gonna Rain

It's gotta rain.

For all our sakes.
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Ashidori mo karukushite chao chao
Torumono mo toriaezu chao chao
Raion ga unaru mitai no raimei ga
Taisan wo unagashite iru
Doo naru no?


Soo. . . moo sugu ame
Dai kirai ame nanka chao chao
Moo sukoshi itai noni chao chao
Kaikan ga kaisan ni kawaru shunkuan wo
Raion ga isogaseta no wa
Meihaku No! Meiwaku
IT'S GONNA RAIN!


Ame wa moo aribai wo kesu no?
Kare ga moo wasurete shimau no?
Futari wa moo korekiri ni naru no?
Subete wa ame no seitte koto ni shite okou


Kare kara no renraku wa NOTHING NOTHING
Ame ni yoru kyoukun mo NOTHING NOTHING
Kanjou mo irigisu no tenki mitai ni
Utsurigi dattara totemo
Raku nanoni. . . gyaku na no
IT'S GONNA RAIN!


Ame ga netsu wo yomigaeraseta
Kare mo futo watashi wo omoidashita
Futari wa ima koko ni michibikareta
Subete wa ame no sei, unn, okage na no


Ame wa hito wo yondari keshitari
Dare yori mo tegowai majishan ne
Futari wa itsumo damasarete bakari
Subete wa ame de hajimarun deshyoo

IT'S GONNA RAIN!

It's gonna rain..

It's gonna rain...

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It's gonna rain. Sooner. Than later.

"...Closure"?

Talabani won't sign Saddam death sentence

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Sun Aug 28, 2:56 PM ET

BAGHDAD (AFP) - Iraqi President Jalal Talabani said in remarks that he would not sign a death sentence against his ousted predecessor Saddam Hussein even if it costs him his job.

"Once his (Saddam's) interrogation is over, he will go before a tribunal," Talabani told Dubai-based Al-Arabiya news channel in an interview.

Should a death sentence be issued against the former dictator, "I will not sign it," he said.
"I am a man of principles. I cannot forego my principles for the sake of my post. If there is a clash between the post and the principles, I will give up the post and keep the principles," Talabani said in a snippet aired in advance of the full interview broadcast.


Talabani said in May that he would not sign a death sentence against Saddam, whose trial on charges of crimes against humanity during his iron-fisted rule over Iraq is expected to come up within the next two months.

The Iraqi president, a vocal opponent of capital punishment, refused earlier this month to sign the first death sentences passed in Iraq since Saddam's ouster in April 2003, delegating his deputy to sign the relevant decree.

Human rights groups believe that the executions could set a precedent for sentencing when the high-profile trials of former regime figures, including Saddam, begin. Saddam is currently in US custody and held near Baghdad airport.

The Iraqi Special Tribunal filed charges against Saddam in late July over the 1982 killing of 143 residents of the village of Dujail, northeast of Baghdad, where he had been the target of a failed assassination bid.

The Iraqi government defended its decision to reinstate the death penalty despite a UN appeal for Baghdad to reconsider executing three convicted felons.

"We are faced with a reality in Iraq where people are murdering, and what we want is a sentence which punishes the hand that kills and the person who commits this crime," government spokesman Leith Kubba said last week.

UN special envoy to Iraq Ashraf Qazi had urged the government not to go ahead with the country's first executions since the 2003 overthrow of Saddam, who himself faces charges punishable by death.

Iraqi vice president Adel Abdel Mehdi had signed a decree authorising the execution of three men sentenced to death for kidnapping policemen and raping Iraqi women.

The men, suspected members of Al-Qaeda-linked group Ansar al-Sunna, were sentenced in May. The verdict was later approved by the Supreme Council for Justice, the highest judicial authority in Iraq.

The executions are due to take place in the town of Kut, 175 kilometres (110 miles) southeast of Baghdad, within the next few days.

It is not known how the government intends to carry out the executions.

During Saddam's regime, criminals used to be hanged, and disloyal soldiers faced the firing squad while other military personnel looked on.

- - -

Disculpas a quienes no entienden el idioma. Culpen a mi huevonada.

¿...Por qué...se siente mal esto..? ¿Por qué, a pesar de las cosas tan inhumanas que se le atribuyen a Hussein de todos esos años...estoy en completo desacuerdo de que se le ejecute?

Detesto, aborrezco la forma en que los funcionarios de gobierno, u hombres de renombre en ámbitos variados, escapan de la mano de la justicia, y logran vivir el resto de sus vidas, aunque sea en exilio y escondidos, a salvo de hasta una conciencia.

Mueren inocentes. Asesinos escapan. Y el remordimiento sólo quizá le queda como sabor de boca a un pueblo que trata los juicios como pan y circo, toda una Roma de siglo XXI.


Que asco.


Le doy el beneficio de la duda. O ni tanto así. Creo que no me concierne. No le conozco. Aunque no me es indiferente.

Creo que...quiero que viva Hussein....




porque quiero que sufra....que sufra las aterradoras visiones de sus víctimas. Una. Y otra. Y otra vez.


Vivir no implica encontrar la paz ni un final feliz.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

'..maybe.'

Natural Selection.

Me sorprende, y a veces asusta, lo maduro que pueden ser los niños.

..Y me molesta, porque es pedirles, es obligarles a hacer --a ser-- algo que no deberían, por años y años más.

Pero..recuerdo con mucho, mucho afecto...y dulce nostalgia, la desesperación de una niñez que aparenta ser eterna, que no nos permite crecer lo bastante rápido. No conseguir convencer a terceros de que podemos, podemos proteger a quienes queremos.

..

Guardo la sensibilidad de ayer. Solo..envuelta en un cinismo a través del cual sólo tú puedes (...) ver.

Quizá...amé como una criatura. Pero,

(y si tantas veces quice esconder mi mirada...)

bien sabes,

(..y nunca me lo permitiste)

y reconociste, las pruebas y eternidades por las que mi mente....cuando menos mi alma siente..sabe que ha pasado.


Y el respeto, la preocupación....la admiración sincera, el cariño....


...la seriedad con la que siempre me trataste, forjaron...algo..


...alg..uien...


que toda una vida te lo agradecerá...


..Que quizo estar en delante, ahí, en todo momento de (tu improbable, porque eres un dios entre mortales) dolor o fragilidad, duda o cansancio, si tan solo para dejar que descansaras tu cabeza y buscaras esas respuestas que jamás dejarías que alguien más encontrara por ti. Que quizo ser tu fe en tiempos de flaqueza; tu valor en momentos de llanto; tu honorable, invencible, incansable guardián en momentos en que llegaras a pensar que hasta Dios te pudo haber olvidado...Seré.


....Será una deuda que jamás podré saldar.


Pero...supongo que puedo hacer a un lado mi ego...mi rencor...mi miedo...mi frustración..y esa compleja y aterradora sensación de impotencia..ante el tiempo y el destino...lo bastante como para vivir el resto de mis días..


..con la certeza de que, hoy por hoy y ayer, todo fue recíproco.


Aprendí. Cómo aprendí. Y, si no por ninguna otra cosa, por eso t...te....


..te amo.


..Y lo bailado, mon amour, eso quién me lo quita?



It seems to me like 'maybe' pretty much always means 'no'...


Seré alguien de quien puedas sentirte orgulloso.


..So don't tell me you "might just let it go".


...I asure you, these are the last tears the Sun will ever see.










...'Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart...?



I dooooooooooooo.'

...Rían. RIAN, carajo.


Sol para D.T. de Chivas. Woop woop.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

A Bumper Sticker's Worth.

"A picture is worth a thousand words."

So, how much is this bumper sticker worth?


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JAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!!


Saliendo del estacionamiento de la escuela, feliz de librarme de la última clase del día, que veo a una monjita subiendose a una Escalade.


Ergo.

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...Algún día encontraré a alguien con uno de 'Impeach God'.

Y se lo voy a piratear :D.

Spotted:
"It's called 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Moonlight Sonata.

(requiem)

Staring at the sea..
(‘...Will he come?’)

(In the blur of serenity,
where did everything get lost?
The flowers of naïveté
buried in a layer of frost.)













I bow down before the one I serve.

Thought she had it all before they called her bluff;
found out that her skin just wasn’t thick enough.
Wanted to go back to how it was before;
thought she lost everythingthen she lost a whole lot more.

Just a reflection,
just a glimpse;
just a little reminder
of all the “what about’s”
and all the “might have,
could have been’s.”


...There is no place I can go, there is no way I can hide..
it feels like it keeps coming from the inside.


A fool’s devotion - swallowed up in empty space.
The tears of regret - frozen to the side of her face.


Tried to save a place from the cuts and the scratches..
Tried to overcome the complications and the catches.
Nothing ever grows, and the sun doesn't shine all day;
tried to save myself but myself keeps slipping away.


(...The smell of sunshine...I remember sometimes.)

“Anything at any price;
all of this for you.
All the spoils of a wasted life;
all of this for you.

“Tried faith, all worn and thin..
for all we could have done...
and all that could have been.

“I’ve done all I can do, could I please come with you?”


There is a hate that burns within,
the most desperate place I have ever been.


(“Got to get back to the bottom”—the big come down;
isn't that what you wanted?
To find a place with the failed and forgotten;
isn't that really what you wanted now?)

There’s always a way to forget,
once you learn to find a way how..


'There is no place I can go—there is no place I can hide..
it feels like it keeps coming from the inside.
..The closer I get the worse it becomes,
the closer I get the worse it becomes.'


(she doesn’t see her beauty;
she tries to get away.

“sometimes...it’s just that nothing seems worth saving.

I’d rather die, than..”
)

...I can’t watch her slip away.

‘I broke apart my insides, I’ve got no soul to sell..’

I won’t let you fall apart.


(she reads the minds of all the people as they pass her by,
hoping someone can see..


“..if I could fix myself I'd... - but it's too late for me.

I wont let you fall apart.”
)

If you could show,
help me to know,
how it’s
supposed to be ,
where did it go?


pleading
needing
bleeding
breathing
feeding
exceeding


...where is everybody?

trying and lying
defying denying
crying and dying:

where is everybody?



Is there hope for me,
after all is said and done?



Ocean pulls me close
and whispers in my ear:
The destiny I've chose
all becoming clear.
The currents have their say:
“The time is drawing near.”
Washes me away;
makes me disappear.


‘I descend from grace;
in arms of undertow
I will take my place,
in the great below.’



I can still feel you.


Trying to get back to where I’m from.























Now I am somewhere I am not supposed to be..
and I can see things I knew I really shouldn't see.


And now I know.


As black as the night can get...
everything is safer now.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Me dueles.

..Samui. Samui, desu.

My bones ache, out of the blue. Why in Hell..?

My blood scalds me so bad, so suddenly, so violently, that it both startles and irritates the bejeezus outta me. Who—or what, mind me and my existentially aware/politically corrected way phrasing of this existential inquiry—the fuck did I manage to successfully piss off so bad this time?

What, indeed.

This, mind you, could be me ‘unconsciously empathizing a third party’s frustration’. It could. Could, I said. But it's not me goin’ nuts. Scratch that out. F’get that.


This feels..like an all-out...affront.

Who the fuck is getting me all riled up??

Something is changing, people; something is gonna happen. And you can quote me on that later, too. What gets to me is that I can’t get a good whiff of it—tell if it’s good or bad. But I have a very, very, veeery strong feeling that it’s gonna be a ‘maker’ or ‘breaker’ for a lot of people I know, and that just takes away yards from that innately short fuse, and a few more years off my life, too. And gets me all the more shifty and shit.

So, I’ll just go ahead and put the challenge, or invitation, pheh, out there:


Come out, come out, whoever you are...

..Come and get your piece.




Mis manos están frías de nuevo, de la nada. Y me dueles. Me dueles como si fueras mío.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

(paxe)

( )

A warning sign,

you came back to haunt me, and I realized...

Lay beside me, under wicked sky,

through black of day, dark of night, we share this pair of lives.

"Lay beside me, tell me what they've done."

"...Speak the words I want to hear, to make my demons run."

The door is locked now, but it's open if you're true.

"Come make me pure,

bleed me a cure."


Truly thought I could heal you,

make it right for you, Sleeping Beauty.

Drunk on ego, truly thought I could make it right

if I kissed you one more time to help you face the nightmare.


"If you can understand the me, than I can understand the you."

Caught under the wheels that roll
I take the leech, I'm bleeding me
Can't stop to save my soul,
I take the leash that's leading me

I'm bleeding me I can't take it
Caught under the wheel's roll
The bleeding of me


"I would die for you
I would die for you
I've been dying just to feel you by my side

...to know that you're mine

I would cry for you
I would cry for you
I will wash away your pain with all my tears
I'm drowning on fear

I will pray for you
I will pray for you,
I will sell my soul for something pure and true,
someone like you

See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice every time that I'm talkin'
You will believe in me, and I will never be ignored

I will burn for you
Feel pain for you
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart,
and tear it apart

I will lie for you
Beg and steal for you
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see...
you're just like me

Violate all the love that I'm missing
Throw away all the pain that I'm living
You will believe in me, and I can never be ignored

I would die for you
I would kill for you
I will steal for you
I'd do time for you
I will wait for you
I'd make room for you
I'd sink ships for you,
Take the cross for you
Make me a part of you
Because I believe in you..

...I believe in you..
..I would die for you.
"

"...The truth is...I miss you.

Yeah, the truth is...I miss you so...

And I’m tired..I should not have let you go."


The door cracks open, but there's no sun shining through.

Black heart scarring darker still, but there's no sun shining through.


"So I crawl back into your arms.

Yes, I crawl back into your arms,

and I crawl back into your arms.

Yes, I crawl back into your open arms."


...And it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel,

was just a freight train coming your way.


(On my death bed, I will pray

to the gods and the angels

like a pagan, to anyone who will take me to heaven.)


Delusional I believed I could cure it all for you, dear;

coax or trick or drive or drag the demons from you.


"The sky was bruised,

the world was black...

and there you led me on."


Caught under the wheels that roll
I take the leech, I'm bleeding me
Can't stop to save my soul...

I'm digging my way..

I'm digging my way to something..

I'm digging my way to somethin' better.


I'm bleeding me, I can't take it, the bleeding of me.

I'll save my soul.

I am the beast

that feeds the beast.

I am the blood, I am release.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Quizilla: Edén para Ignotitos Impresionables

...O para gente educada con tiempo para matar.

Tengo esta maldita mania...

Sentada frente a la PC vaciando mis discos de basura ajena, eventualmente me encuentro (no sé cómo exactamente) frente a uno de esos apestosos--pero adictivos--tests de Quizilla. 'What kind of --llene este espacio con el nombre del color, adjetivo, personaje, objeto, shala lá-- are you? ', y antes de que me entere llevo tres horas sentada respondiendo docenas de preguntas...y links de mis resultados me llevan a otros quizzes, y los resultados de esos quizzes me llevan a más quizzes....

..Ven a dónde voy con esto.

..Baaaah. Son preguntas. Tengo respuestas. Y quizá demasiado tiempo libre.


"What Element are you?"

Your element is Water. You have a calm aura around you and are in tune with the world around. You observe but rarely interfere. Because of your shy and timid nature you will not have many friends in your life. But then again, large crowds aren't your thing anyway. You are comfortable on your own and are reserved to others who you don't know or know very little of. You know that not everybody out there is going to be your friend, and understanding that is good. However, people who don't know you that well think that you are cold and distant, since you don't want to talk to them. Although you mean no harm, you can't always be perfectly understood in the world. No one can. You're quite serene in life even if there are some things you don't like. Your love-life is not too crowded with boys/girls, but if you flirted more with the ones you were interested in something would happen. The hobbies you choose are calmer ones: you're no party girl that likes to drink and make-out with three or more guys/girls in one night. Reading a book or swimming is more your thing.

...Confirmado en otro quiz más "reputable", por si me quedaba la duda. Esta vez con menos alusiones encubiertas sobre bisexualidad. Uuuh.


"What type of Elemental are you?"

Your element is Water: Understanding, intelligent, quiet and calm. You know who you are and no one can change that. Usually quiet but only because you're listening, don't let anyone think you haven't got an opinion! You're not quiet because you're shy or sad; you're usually quiet because you're thinking. Your answers are well planned and helpful so people generally seek your advice. You're the perfect balance between solitary and outgoing. But sometimes you need a little time to yourself to sort out your emotions and figure things out. You understand the phrase 'sticks and stones' and rarely let things get to you; what's that important for you to have to get so upset over? You know what you want out of life but are simply taking your time and enjoying things. To you your life is fine as it is; you can always change things later if your not happy.

Misceláneo. Inútil. Pero me da 'bragging rights'. Bwahaha.

"What type of weapon best represents your personality?"

Your personality is best represented by the traditional Japanese Katana. You are brave beyond words and rarely (if ever) act for your own personal gain. Your honor is very important to you, and you strive to better yourself and help others. You try not to let emotions get in the way of making a sound decision, and are usually quite successful.


Quizzes extraños. Pero nunca hay sabiduría de más.

"What kind of angel are you?"

You are a wise angel. You either seem to have the answers to everything or are the most sensible creature around. You are responsible and loyal to everything who doesn't turn on you. You have a mind to give knowledge to everyone and you love to give people the advice to push them in the right direction of life.



"What type of angel are you?"

You are a water angel, very proud and powerful you always make people feel great about themselves and you seem to radiate happiness.

...Si les conté sobre ese...trauma...semi-obsesivo....con...ángeles.....

...verdad?


"What type of angel have you become?"

Angst. You are an angel of angst. Once one of water. But your depression has caused you to become an outcast. You love to be by yourself, as it helps you think. You have always, and always will wonder what has gone wrong. Your soul has been shattered, and your wings are in pieces. But that's just you. You spend your days searching for something. Not someone. Though you don't know what you are looking for. You don't even remember who you are. And are always trying to find that person, yourself, your soul. Which seems to have been misplaced. But. When you find what you are looking for, it will become clear. All tragedy will be ripped from your wings, and your true colours will show. And then, you will prove to be the most powerful of them all. Hang on, keep looking. It's there. Try not to loose all hope and become nothing. You are truly beautiful.


....Está bien. Lo admito. Hay algunas cosas que están de más saber. Ehem. Continuemos.

"What kind of angel are you?" vers. 2

You're a guardian angel. You fight and protect the people you love and value.




"What color angel are you?"

You're a Black Angel, which means your an Angel of Death. You don't really care much about people since no one was particularly nice to you before, and now you want revenge for their cruelty. You're always alone unless forced to be with other people and you love to cause trouble. You feel depressed a lot and don't have something that could cheer you up like most people. You don't find joy in people or the arts or any item or some sort. You have darker desires and you're very secretive.

..Ehh?!! Uuuuurk! Whatte..? Umm..Next, please.. .. ...

"What (absurdly named) 'Different Kind of Angel' are you?"

You are a Chaos angel. You are different from all the rest. You are a special breed of angel, prone to suffer in the world that you are in now. No matter how much you try to believe that you're not special, you are. There is a lot that you want to do in this world. Chaos angels are very dramatic; they tend to have the ability to cheer people up no matter what the mood, and hold in their emotions. You should be proud: Chaos angels are very rare...

...Sigh. Esto se vuelve decandente. Y en mi contra. Ahem.


"Which Rurouni Kenshin character are you?"

Himura Kenshin: You're very polite and thoughtful, and are a good person to talk to. You will defend your friends when necessary, but for some reason you don't see much worth in yourself, and are constantly putting yourself down in your private thoughts while keeping up an optimistic attitude around your friends. And you have an astonishingly bloodthirsty, psychotic side to compliment things nicely.


"What Bronze Saint are you?"

You are...Cygnus Hyoga. Of course I am. Browny points if you guess which Gold Saint.


"What Gold Saint are you?"

You are Aquarius Camus: Loyal and honorable to nearly absurd, uncomprehensible levels, you understand the meaning of self-sacrifice and "the greater good". A woodstove isn't always a BAD thing, though. Sí, sí contesté que mi signo era "Cáncer". Pero no confirmaré ni negaré rumores de que manipulé resultados. Muahaha.



Hmm..Cerrando con broche de...pos de algo. Con dos que me dejaron un buen sabor de boca.

Bite me.

"What kind of writer are you?"

You are a freeform writer. Individualistic with a sense for the different and challenging, Walt Whitman and his poetry lacking meter and rhyme is just what the doctor ordered. You're quick to write something that the rest of the world doesn't accept as poetry, quick to separate yourself from the average joe. An author with a true sense of self, you have confidence in your abilities and aren't afraid to show it.





Y...




"Which deadly sin do you represent?"

+ Pride +





- " Humanity has proven, time and again, to be hazardous to my health."

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Neofita.

"El cortejo de almas es algo más peligroso que bello."

"..O bello quizá porque es peligroso."



¿Hay alguien ahí?
¿Alguien me puede decir
si alguien me ha echado en falta en todo este tiempo?


Siento el calor de toda tu piel en mi cuerpo otra vez
Estrella fugaz que enciende mi sed misteriosa mujer
Por tu amor sensual cuánto me das?
Haz que mi sueño sea una verdad
Dame tu alma hoy, ese ritual
Llévame al mundo donde pueda soñar

Uh, debo saber si es verdad, en algún lado estás
Voy a buscar una señal, una canción
Uh, debo saber si es verdad, en algún lado estás
Solo el amor que tú me das me ayudará

Al amanecer tu imagen se va, misteriosa mujer
Dejaste en mi, lujuria total, hermosa, sensual
Corazón sin Dios dame un lugar
En ese mundo tibio casi real
Deberé buscar una señal
En aquel camino por el que vas

Uh, debo saber si es verdad, en algún lado estás
Voy a buscar una señal, una canción
Uh, debo saber si es verdad, en algún lado estás
Solo el amor que tú me das me ayudará

Tu presencia marco en mi vida el amor, lo sé
Es difícil pensar, el vivir ya sin vos
Corazón sin Dios dame un lugar
En ese mundo tibio casi real

Uh, debo saber si es verdad, en algún lado estás
Voy a buscar una señal, una canción
Uh, debo saber si es verdad, en algún lado estás
Solo el amor que tú me das me ayudará


Un hombre en el espacio
pone su nombre a galaxias...
con ellas habla.

"Prefiero, por mucho, ser el idiota entre sabios...."


¿...Hay alguien ahí...Alguien me puede decir....?


Viejos trucos..


...In a new light.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

07.20 : Megas Alexandros

" Bellus Guerreo "
"Al final, vimos ascender de vuelta a los cielos al águila y, detrás de un relámpago que partió la tierra y agitó los mares, desapareció para reposar eternamente entre los dioses de quien provino lo que parecía sólo momentos antes. Llevó consigo como más preciado tesoro la memoria de los que le precedieron y el llanto de quienes lo perdieron, y fue recibido con abrazos calurosos y coronado con laureles dorados por la gloria de sus proezas."


...Oh that the stars will light my way
Oh as my tides dance the ebb and sway
She's studying the planets and she's searching for signs
Her eyes promise mystery and her treasure to find


No existe tal cosa como el día después del presente.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

...Masamune.

" This sword embodies true Divine Justice: God's Punishment."

"If Hadhafang is the weapon of choice for Angels, then...Masamune is, by decree and design, its unholy antithesis."

("Nya nya nya..Hadhafang, shmadhafang...")
"If Lucifer were to rise from Hell to destroy the world and the heavens as we know them...

Masamune would be his accomplice."


No foto para ustedes, viles mortales. Sus ojos no son dignos.



...En realidad, busco una, una sola imágen que le haga justicia : (.


Uh-oh.


..Afortunados.


Be-HOLD.


Mon Dieu.


WOOP.



...My blood and soul for a sacred, cursed blade.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Three-Fourths

How can it mean anything to me....?



Something kinda sad about the way that things have come to be.




Then as it was, then again it will be
An’ though the course may change sometimes
Rivers always reach the sea
Blind stars of fortune, each have several rays
On the wings of maybe, down in birds of prey
Kind of makes me feel sometimes, didn’t have to grow
But as the eagle leaves the nest, it’s got so far to go

Changes fill my time, baby, that’s alright with me
In the midst I think of you, and how it used to be

Did you ever really need somebody, and really need ’em bad?

Did you ever really want somebody, the best love you ever had?

Do you ever remember me, baby, did it feel so good,

’Cause it was just the first time, and you knew you would?


Through the eyes an’ I sparkle, senses growing keen
Taste your love along the way, see your feathers preen
Kind of makes makes me feel sometimes, didn’t have to grow
We are eagles of one nest, the nest is in our soul







"You truly are...immortal."










"How can it mean anything to me....?"

elbow deep inside the borderline.

show me that you love me and that we belong together.

shoulder deep within the borderline.


again. and again. and again and again and again.


....Relax.



Turn around.



And take my hand.

Friday, July 15, 2005

...Hadhafang.

"I'll give you the ends of the world...and time."

Estoy enamorada.

"...This weakness..this weakness of yours..

..is beautiful."

Aen estar Hadhafang i chathol hen, thand arod dan i thang an i arwen.


"My soul, my soul is not mine, yet--today I find that it has a price, that of a tempered godsend: the holy steel--the scythe of Death, the weapon of God."

Monday, July 11, 2005

"It's illogical."

It’s rough...It’s rough.

"To fall in love is quick...

But to forget a love requires what seems like a lifetime.

It’s illogical."
Time out of place, out of time. El día que finalmente mi alma decidió colapsar nada lo pudo detener. Entre más peleaba, más difícil y fútil se convertía el intento y todo el esfuerzo de conservar algo en pie.

Hoy...

Creo que ayer, por primera vez en mucho tiempo, sentí una ligereza en el pecho que me era ajena desde aquél día. Era raro.


Es, comprendí, algo que no me interesa volver a tener nunca en mi vida.


Un momento—de segundos de duración, a veces—define una vida; una existencia. Un gesto, uno sólo, es bastante para traer abajo un universo entero. Triste pérdida, gran pérdida, porque toma una vida, un mundo de recuerdos para construirlo, en primera.


La intuición natural del ser humano es un arma prodigiosa. En algunas ocasiones, lamentablemente, suele adelantarse a su dueño y una ominosa verdad cae igual de confortante y delicadamente sobre nosotros como una hermosa lluvia de navajas. Todo siempre desde arriba, nuestro punto ciego.


Un abrazo...


Un abrazo fue la señal. Fue el primero de los sellos, el primer suspiro, murmuro de un instrumento de viento, que declaró que el fin estaba aquí. Bastó. Y creo que a nadie le gusta enterarse de que es el principio del fin.

~

Me enseñó a no tenerle miedo a nada. A respetar—más no dejarme manipular ni intimidar por—la muerte.

A mortal god haunts my dreams.

...El horrible final viene para todos. El de aquellos, los mejores entre nosotros, viene mucho antes de tiempo.


El suyo no fue la excepción.


El día de su funeral recordé todas sus....

..las lecciones palabra a palabra, y creo que me esmeré con (quizá inhumano) natural desapego para seguirlas al pie de la letra. Admirados, muchos, quizá todos ellos. Les veía y escuchaba como detrás de un aparador de cristal que distorsiona y separa dioses de mortales, realidades de fantasías. Al acercarse para darme esas extrañas palmaditas (..a alguien le sirven, alguna vez?) en el hombro, enmudecidas, creo que los asusté exitosamente a todos. Alguien, tiempo después, tímidamente reconoció que esa mañana de mayo había parecido una auténtica...estatua frente al sepulcro. Que de saber el extento de lo que yo había sentido por él, esperaban el llanto callado, quizá hasta una (inconcebible a sus mentes) exhibición de desenfreno al expresar mi lamento. Lo hubieran permitido. Les pareció insólito que nada de lo anterior sucediera. Lo hubieran aceptado de mí, entendido, entonces. No lo hice. Me preguntó por qué. Porque no me dolió, contesté, y hoy lo reconozco.


Creo que en ese momento le pareció que conversaba con un demonio. Con un monstruo, cuando menos.

Me vio por lo que soy. Y yo no le volví a ver.


Bok, bok.

Ochenta y un días después, escasos minutos después de las tres de la mañana, mientras leía en la sala, se escuchó en toda la casa un aullido que dudo hubiera sonado—ni remotamente—humano. Provenía de mí, es todo lo que sé, y acabó casi destrozándome la garganta.

No sé qué estaba leyendo. Sólo recuerdo que minutos antes del incidente los renglones se nublaban, se perdían; momentos antes de ese grito el aire no ajustaba, y los bordes de los ojos me ardían.

Y, entonces, lloré. Lloré lo que llora una criatura al perder un hermano; lloré lo que llora una niña al perder un amigo; lloré lo que llora una mujer al perder un amor.


Creo que es lo más cercano que alguien puede llegar al borde de la cordura sin caer en el abismo. Es apenas rozar con las yemas de los dedos y no ser permitido tomar la mano de la locura, por más fuerte que haya sido el impulso y desinterés con el que se arroja alguien. Es ser privado una última vez del vuelo, en el momento en que estás más convencido, como nunca antes, de que las alas están ahí.

Quieres salvar el alma y perder la razón, porque es la única manera en que el corazón concibe que se puede tomar el siguiente trago de aire para seguir llorando, doliendo, gritando, viviendo, dándole voz y ser a ese dolor incomprensible que pasa al foro a aseverar su existencia.


Algo se rompió dentro de mí esa noche. No sabía qué; no tenía nombre.

Hoy, no vale la pena tratar de dárselo.


...Hoy sólo creo que, igual, se le debe su merecido respeto a los difuntos.


~

Creo que ese día le perdí el miedo por completo a la muerte.



Sé que ese día aprendí considerablemente sobre el dolor.


- -



...Hoy recordé todo esto cuando Chris Cornell solidificó el concepto con una vieja canción.


I woke the same as any other day
Except a voice was in my head
It said, “Seize the day, pull the trigger
Drop the blade, and watch the rolling heads”

The day I tried to live
I stole a thousand beggar’s change
And gave it to the rich

The day I tried to win
I dangled from the power lines
And let the martyrs stretch
Singing:

“One more time around might do it,
One more time around might make it,
One more time around might do it,
One more time around...”

The day I tried to live.

Words you say never seem
To live up to the ones inside your head
The lives we make never seem
To ever get us anywhere but dead

The day I tried to live
I wallowed in the blood and mud with
All the other pigs

I woke the same as any other day you know
I should have stayed in bed

The day I tried to win
I wallowed in the blood and mud with
All the other pigs

And I learned that I was a liar.
Just like you.



- -


Subí el volumen hasta el límite, para ver si bastaba con quedar sorda para grabar con nueva y cruel permanencia y claridad ese momento en mi mente.

This is it. My pseudominded change. On the day I tried to live.

Mad Season ( II )

"APC es a Maynard lo que Mad Season es a...."

My pain is self-chosen
At least, so The Prophet says
I could either burn
Or cut off my pride and buy some time
A head full of lies is the weight, tied to my waist
The River of Deceit pulls down, oh oh
The only direction we flow is down
Down, oh down
Down, oh down
Down, oh down
Down, oh down
My pain is self-chosen
At least I believe it to be
I could either drown
Or pull off my skin and swim to shore
Now I can grow a beautiful shell for all to see
The River of Deceit pulls down, yeah
The only direction we flow is down
Down, oh down
Down, oh down
Down, oh down
Down, oh down
The pain is self-chosen, yeah

My pain is self-chosen

- River of Deceit, Mad Season


...No hay nada mejor que una noche entera de sueño tranquilo, ininterrumpido.


Woop woop.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Mad Season

¿Su diagnóstico, Doctor?

Es...es eso. Sólo tomó veinte años, once meses, tres semanas, un día, dieciocho horas, cuarenta-y-siete minutos y treinta-y...

(observando reloj)

...seis segundos para reconocer qué madres está pasando, ahora que mis hormonas finalmente se han dignado a entrar en acción..para jugarme una broma de muy mal gusto.

..Mi sistema completo resiente dichos efectos.


Haz de cuenta que ando en..kriptonita roja. Aaáaandale!

Y ¿“hormona mata neurona”? Pos...esperemos que no. Confío que mi “juerza de”...ehm, “voluntad” es fuerte, y la carne...pos..no tan débil.


Pero un alter-ego ha despertado. Definitivamente. Eso ni dudarlo.

Dice algo así como, "Quiero atún. Y una margarita. NOW."

Es como vivir en un estado permanente de…friskydad.


- O sea que...¿te llegó la primavera, Chencha?

- ...Callad, que esto no es una broma, pendejos :indignado: .


Inestable, hyperactiva, un reloj psicoanalítico (instalado de fábrica) a mil por hora (..¿..no hay una canción mafufa que dice algo así..? :?), bastante tinta y discos y hojas en blanco para darle rienda a la catarsis usual, y arranques inadvertidos de megalomanía, creo que aunque no tengo ni la menor idea de a dónde va esto (ni yo, de hecho :?) a la larga..


..mi freakiadora (pero confiable) intuición dice que...el mar está tranquilo. No hay moros en la costa. Todo va a estar bien.


Remember to breathe out every once in a while, people.

And enjoy.


Matchbox 20 ( :rezo: ; y no es lo mismo que Rob Thomas nuevo :giak: ) tiene una canción perfecta. Para mí, para esto, para todo, para todos.


“Mad Season”.


I feel stupid—but I know it won’t last for long
I’ve been guessing—and I coulda been guessin’ wrong
You don’t know me now
I kinda thought that you should somehow
Does that whole mad season got ya down?


I feel stupid, but it’s something that comes and goes
I’ve been changin’—I think it’s funny how now one knows

We don’t talk about the little things that we do without
When that whole mad season comes around

So why you gotta stand there
Looking like the answer now?
It seems to me you’d come around


I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out—that I’m “lost” and I’m “hopeless
I’m bleeding and broken, though I’ve never spoken
I come undone in this mad season

I feel stupid, but I think I been catchin’ on
I feel ugly, but I know I still turn you on

You’ve grown colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around
Will that whole mad season knock you down?


So are you gonna stand there
Are you gonna help me out?
We need to be together now

I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out—that I’m lost and I’m hopeless
I’m bleeding and broken, though I’ve never spoken
I come undone in this mad season

And now I’m cryin’
Isn’t that what you want?
I’m tryin’ to live my life on my own
But I won’t, no,
At times I do believe I am strong
So someone tell me why, why, why
Do I, I, I feel stupid

And I come undone
And I come undone

I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out—that I’m lost and I’m hopeless
I’m bleeding and broken though I’ve never spoken

I need you now
Do you think you can cope?
You figured me out—I’m a child and I’m hopeless
I’m bleeding and broken though I’ve never spoken
I come undone in this mad season

In this mad season
There’s been a mad season
Been a mad season


Entonces, sólo resta decir que—

...Un momento, por favor.


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- ¿..Where's my goddammed margarita?


Esta va por mi felicidad. Y la de ustedes.


Salud.